she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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