just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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