I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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