he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
