he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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