I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Randomize
