I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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