im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My feet surprised me
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