if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
