I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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