i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
