you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
