I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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