I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
