Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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