omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
