My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
