the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
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