Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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