So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
