do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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