fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it hurts more in the daytime
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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