So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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