Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
