i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
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Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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