I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize