I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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