did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
