Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
