her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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