sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're like the curious george of whores
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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