Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
