that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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