whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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