I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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