AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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