don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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