its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We were destined to go to rehab together
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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