So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I love having hate sex.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
