I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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