I just saw a hot homeless man
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
