I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
