Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
