He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
