can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
