Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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