I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
