Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
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I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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