Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
