Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
