where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
