i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
