Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
