the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
