can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
