Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me

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  (313): I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me http://tfl.nu/x1tc
  Replies (8) Good night (1535) Bad night (1600)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is

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  (613): i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is http://tfl.nu/6noa
  Replies (16) Good night (726) Bad night (3441)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  bitch so ugly she owes me an erection

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  (919): bitch so ugly she owes me an erection http://tfl.nu/ldn1
  Replies (29) Good night (860) Bad night (4747)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.

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  (770): Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much. http://tfl.nu/renf
  Replies (23) Good night (790) Bad night (4432)
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  (650): View more from California

  Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?

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  (650): Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user? http://tfl.nu/ik2g
  Replies (15) Good night (1301) Bad night (2543)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta

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  (814): She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta http://tfl.nu/cr5h
  Replies (8) Good night (3826) Bad night (1353)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?

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  (717): do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met? http://tfl.nu/fj36
  Replies (7) Good night (1166) Bad night (591)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.

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  (918): He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough. http://tfl.nu/jcxc
  Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (569)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.

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  (515): Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself. http://tfl.nu/ezc4
  Replies (9) Good night (1468) Bad night (484)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.

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  (410): It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole. http://tfl.nu/8vko
  Replies (16) Good night (759) Bad night (2182)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road

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  (814): Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road http://tfl.nu/0xhz
  Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (295)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?

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  (234): Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories? http://tfl.nu/bj62
  Replies (6) Good night (760) Bad night (295)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.

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  (505): He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself. http://tfl.nu/17i2
  Replies (0) Good night (350) Bad night (522)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.

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  (508): Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER. http://tfl.nu/dcuo
  Replies (0) Good night (287) Bad night (420)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated

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  (952): I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated http://tfl.nu/v9oe
  Replies (1) Good night (313) Bad night (811)

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