Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".

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  (706): Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe". http://tfl.nu/cnav
  Replies (7) Good night (2518) Bad night (763)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.

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  (931): Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex. http://tfl.nu/p49h
  Replies (46) Good night (14348) Bad night (2075)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  cat food counts as protein by the way

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  (709): cat food counts as protein by the way http://tfl.nu/k5gc
  Replies (13) Good night (1656) Bad night (4221)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.

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  (650): Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot. http://tfl.nu/jbjf
  Replies (8) Good night (3084) Bad night (795)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we need ur ladder

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  (612): He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume (612): we need ur ladder http://tfl.nu/n9qh
  Replies (19) Good night (7240) Bad night (973)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me

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  (503): If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me http://tfl.nu/4si1
  Replies (8) Good night (3300) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke

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  (407): A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke http://tfl.nu/oufu
  Replies (4) Good night (646) Bad night (2185)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.

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  (732): I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/4od2
  Replies (5) Good night (780) Bad night (1649)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar

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  (845): I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar http://tfl.nu/fuzg
  Replies (22) Good night (932) Bad night (1532)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex

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  (203): I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex http://tfl.nu/1qp3
  Replies (5) Good night (1704) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair

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  (518): Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair http://tfl.nu/llhv
  Replies (1) Good night (407) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells

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  (978): I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells http://tfl.nu/uff7
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room

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  (513): Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room http://tfl.nu/wjdc
  Replies (4) Good night (1147) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Where did you go?

  (1-925): View more from California

  I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.

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  (925): Where did you go? (1-925): I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever. http://tfl.nu/3xtr
  Replies (0) Good night (627) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out

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  (315): you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out http://tfl.nu/5vn0
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (228)

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