Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
