If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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