I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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